General Rant/Bitch/Moan Thread

I think you're right. I just have a nagging feeling of wanting to stick around in order to help him out when things are troubling him.

When I phrase it like that, it sounds pretty unhealthy, really. And though interacting on a friend level hasn't been a problem in the past, given how utterly dead we were when we split, it's definitely causing some stress now.
Mostly from the purely egotistical perspective of 'why was I never this important?'
Which is both immature and inevitable, I think. Sigh.

He's leaving to return to his hometown next month. Hopefully a combination of that, and my move to London will ensure that I don't end up being his unwilling therapist, as I have been lately.

Thanks for the perspective! Looks like I needed it.

This is why I always avoided dating as much as possible.

However, fwiw, my one and only ex and I are still on good terms.

Those of you who remember my Imperial Dictat that the towns of Derby and Preston were to be razed to the ground and the soil plowed with salt may now make a guess as to the reason why...

Does this have something to do with what was found at the recycling depot in Derby?

Oh that was me.

Derby Railway Station depresses me. It had to go.

And I would have gotten away with it as well if it wasn't for those pesky kids workmen.

D'ya fancy demolishing Warrington while you're at it, EHE?

For you my dear, anywhere.

Warrington is now added to the WMD list.

I'm starting to get fed up with certain unreliable friends. Cancelling plans at the last minute, AFTER you've arranged everything else around them, is out of order. Especially when it happens on a regular basis. At what point do you just give up?

Funny you should mention. That happened to me yesterday. At least it doesn't happen to me very often.

Unfortunately it is the norm rather than the exception amongst my friends.

Who is Vana and why are they spamming me with crap about dissident philosophy?

Ya i got it too.

Vana get's around doesn't she.

Taraiha wrote:

Who is Vana and why are they spamming me with crap about dissident philosophy?

a least its not knock off cell phones or nike's or even prada bags... I got it too, considering its something that uses the mind (I guess) and not what about one of said knockoff products I'm not completely annoyed at the spam.

Yeah, sorry about that Endless, but who else am I going to sell all these knock off phones to?

I think I made a huge mistake coming straight out of 4 year, private high school into 6 year, private college... Living on campus is killing me. I'm so lost in my classes because the teachers are apparently not held to the same standards we are (I did not have my Math Education assignment, for example, because she posted it online at 2 IN THE MORNING. And expected us to apparently get it then.)...

I get along with my roomies, thankfully... but the Gothlet in me is suffering in the middle of upper class white bread suburbia. Plus... and this is a big one in my book... my roommates appear to LOVE light. If the bright florescent aren't on at all hours, then the window has to be open.

I had blackout material in my room.

I hate sunlight.



I'm questioning everything... whether this was the right place for me... the right time for me... whether I should have majored in something else... whether I should have just followed my heart instead of my head and gone to cosmetology school like I have longed to do since I was itty bitty..

I'm just generally... miserable here. And all of this provoked my first OCD panic attack... which was unpleasant, to say the least. I'd never had to face it before, so it wasn't an issue... but now that I'm completely out of my comfort zone and out of control of about 95% of my daily activities, I'm losing it.

I'm sick, I've lost weight... I'm counting the days down until the end of the semester.

Yay, college.


If anyone has any suggestions for me, of ways to cope with my OCD, or even better, how to deal with roommates who have plaid comforters... I'd appreciate any and all suggestions!

"Wait it out" doesn't seem very encouraging, I know, but you might just rub off on some of them. Just be yourself, be it unabashedly and be it all the way. If you're being lovely, polite company, and just happen to be you as well, I'd be willing to bet that at least one person will be willing to tolerate your "eccentricities" to get to know you. Build a friend base one at a time.
As people get to know you, perhaps they'll be more understanding of you: Your photosensitivity, your alienization, etc.

What if that doesn't work? you ask. What if they don't actually take the time to learn to love you? Well, I would take that to mean that the experiment showed that these aren't actually people you can get along with. It's not you, it's them.

My point is that if you burrow into a shell and apologize for who you are, you'll guarantee yourself a miserable six years, with the complications that go with it (poor health, difficulty concentrating (in college no less), weight loss (what weight?? You don't have weight to lose! Don't lose weight!!), etc.) and you'll face the reality, disappointing as it may be, that this isn't your right path. Perhaps there's a brilliant future at the end of this path, but you won't get there if you're walking barefoot on gravel the whole way.

I think that these plaid, white, glowy folk are going to have to see you for yourself sooner or later. When that happens they'll have to decide whether to hate you, tolerate you, ignore you, or love you. Being as that has to happen at some point in the next six years, why not make it tomorrow?

Now, I know I don't stand for the majority, but personally, I'd love to go to college with someone like you. I don't necessarily mean with someone "goth" like you, either, just someone unafraid to stand out. I had a friend once who was just as you describe the folk there. Bright lights, bay windows, tropical fish with cute kitchy ornaments, happy music, and that ghastly golden glow to her skin: I loved her. Weirded me out for the longest time. Couldn't figure out why I liked her. Then it hit me. It was because we were just alike. She was just like me in that she had developed her own personal style, was very comfortable in her own skin, wore her heart on her sleeve, and didn't wear a mask. She was what she was, and if you didn't like it you could jolly well go do a handstand with your head in a bucket of piranha fish.

Someone there must be willing to look beyond appearances, as long as you show them what exactly it is that's behind the appearances, and truthfully, I have to tell you you have one of the sexiest intellects I've ever seen.

Give 'em what for, tiger! If they love you, it shows they have taste. If they don't, you may be able to find better places to apply your talent.

As for the professors... well, that's just odd. Especially for a private school. (You did say it was a private college?) I'd say ignore it for right now... start of the year, everyone's frazzled including them - but if it becomes a habit, you might want to document it well and mention it to the powers that be. I'm sure the accounting department will be interested in you questioning the wisdom of spending tuition dollars in a place where the teachers are that undisciplined.

And again, if they turn out to be unconcerned as to whether you're getting the education you paid for, that gives you a good indication about whether you should spend next semester's money with them.

Life's too short to be on the defensive.

As a fellow OCD sufferer, one of the key things is getting enough sleep. NOTHING helps combat the anxiety like getting enough sleep.

If you're having to deal with sunworshippers you'll be needing on of these


which you can get here in all manner of cool designs.

You'll also be needing a set of ear plugs (you can get really good ones in motor bike stores).

Put those two together and you'll be getting your normal level of sleep and that will help enormously.

Maybe see if your campus has a yoga/mediation class. It'll help you relax and if nothing else it'll get you out of the dorm for an hour or so. Perhaps one of the other girls will go with you and you can get to mix with the group.

Do not underestimate the use of the on-campus counsellor. Yes they tend to not really understand people who are a bit different, but if you're documented as having OCD and major disruptions cause it to get worse then the sooner you go seek this person out and make them your allie (ally - SP?) the better. You want to be pro-active and make sure that they know it's a pre-existing condition, not something you'll be pretending to have in 6 weeks to get out of handing in assignments you didn't do.

Other suggestions....

Religious or not, find the local all-night church. There is nowhere so warm, comforting and peaceful as a quiet little all night church to jsut go sit and be. Get to know the vicar/priest whatever, even if you're not christian they are relaxed and calming people you can talk to. The walk there and back when you need to just get away will do you good. while you're at it, find the nearest place that does hot coffee at all hours of the day and night. How coffee is your friend when you're wandering around graveyards at night

Try to find common ground with everyone in the group. For instance, if you like to cook, find out who else likes to cook and organise a dorm meal one night. If you like reading, find someone else in the group who likes reading and arrange a trip to the library. Find the artist and go to a local museum/gallery with them. It'll make it easier to integrate and still be yourself

Hang in there. The first few weeks of being on campus when you're used to a more solitary existence is very trying and takes some getting used to.

ETA: OH! Hallowe'ens coming up! There's an oportunity to get involved with the group. Ignore your urges to grind your teeth and go hell for leather ot enjoy it. Offer to help the others with hair/make up/clothes shopping to get them all gothed up for the Hallowe'en costume parties (you know there's going to be some). This is your time of year to shine and it'll make the whole Thanksgiving/Christmas thing that much easier to join in because you already did a holiday. You might even find a few other like-minded souls masquerading in plain sight while you're at it

All wonderful suggestions... thank you both for taking the time to type all that out!

I suppose you are right - it'll take time; I'll need to find my own rhythm. I've been trying a few techniques lately - the eye mask being one (although mine is purple satin - not quite as gorgeous as the one Taraiha suggested! ) I picked up an herbal supplement called "Melissa" the other day, which claims to help with anxiety and insomnia.. so I'm keeping my pinkies crossed that that may help a bit. Finding time to sleep more than a handful of hours is always difficult, and I anticipate it will only get more challenging as the year goes on. Coming home to work on the weekends has really become my saving grace, as it gives me a chance to do all the things I can't do while at school (bubble baths and candles, for one!).

As both Gomez and Taraiha touched on... I won't feel truly comfortable until I sort of 'integrate'... find my niche, in a way. I'm lucky that I actually get on alright with my roomies... I'm just finding the culture shock to be overwhelming. I'm trying to get to know them, but being honest... probably not hard enough. I know they are both much quieter and inhibited than I am - they've said so before themselves... and I suppose I find someone who is soft spoken to be sort of new territory to me! I'm taking strides to come out of my shell - for example, against all my better judgment, I made a Facebook, because pretty much everyone here has one, and it is there main line of communication.

As soon as I get back on campus, I plan to look into therapy tools available on campus (I'm paying for them; I might as well use them, right?) I'm not sure if there is a yoga class on campus, but if not... hell, I could start one.

In all the commotion... I'm ashamed to say Halloween had slipped my mind until now! That gives me something to look forward to.

And Gomez, trust me, I'm keeping an eye on my professors... on Friday, my Psychology teach said "dildo" was one of "his version of the Seven Dwarfs".

Awkwardness for the rest of class ensued.

I'm a little late to the party, but I'd just like to agree with the sound advice so far given.

Be yourself, and be friendly. In my experience people will not mind you being different as long as they don't think you are judging yourself better than them because of it.
From what you have said your 'roomies' are friendly enough to you, so return that friendship.
From the sound of it they may even be a little in awe of your self confidence. Use that to your (and their) advantage, encourage them to be who they want to be (even if that does turn out to be white and fluffy!)

Keeping a sense of humour and being able to laugh at yourself also helps. Don't take yourself too seriously (that just sets you up as a target!)

It worked for me at Uni, I hope it will work for you, too.

And if you're on Facebook: Search for "Davyde" or the ID "EvilHippyEmperor", and add me as a friend. My avatar is my dog, Sir Benjamin
(That goes for anyone here - just let me know your username here so I know who I'm adding!)

As for Dildo the Dwarf, in my experience you just need to ignore randomness like that in college. I think at least a quarter of all professors are mad. Well over half at the school here.

Some of the mad professors here are kind of cool, though.

You can add me on Facebook too if you want to. I need more pirates in my crew

It's really quite late.
I need to be up early
But I cannot sleep.

I hate that! It happens to me way too much.