The environment and stuff.

Okay, so everyone's all worked up over global warming and it's like -15 here. I don't even know what that is in Centigrade. Hold on, I'll look it up.
...
Actually it's -22F here which is -30C.

Anyhow, be that as it may, I have something to say about climate shift. I think all this talk is dumb, and (here's the important bit) yes, I DO believe the climate is shifting. I think that's an undeniable truth.

Now, according to Al Gore & co., anyone who admits that the planet is getting warmer must see the obvious truth that we have to stop using cars immediately before it's too late!

I say hold on a bit there, Al.

I said the planet is changing. I didn't say there's any reason to think humanity has anything to do with it.

You see, all the energy of all the doomsayers has been focused on this one question: Is global warming real or not?

To them, that's the whole point. I say that's only the first part of the question.

Global warming is for real. I agree with that. I don't see a reason to disagree with that. What I don't agree with is the idea that human beings are so powerful that we must be responsible for everything that happens.

See, the climate shifts. That's just how things go here on Earth, and it's been that way for a lot longer than human beings have been around. Used to be we had an ice age going on with mastadons walking around and stuff. Long before then it was a lot warmer and we had these big lizard-bird things (ie dinosaurs) ruling the world. Climate shifted. Got cold. Critters died. So sad. Climate shifted again. Got warm. Critters died again. So sad. Climate's still getting warmer. California's going to die. Um... I guess there's a sense in which this is a bad thing... Not coming to me, though.

Now, you can blame humanity for a lot of things. We've f***ed up the ocean in more ways than I have time to compile a list. A few highlights are that shellfish shells are getting weak and they're dying out left and right (if you don't know why this is important, you don't know thing one about marine biology), there's enough mercury in the ocean that half the fish we dredge up are chemical hazards that technically would require a hazmat suit to touch, and then there's Garbage Island. If you don't know what Garbage Island is, you owe it to yourself to find out. It's a horror. There's no other word for it - and yes, it is 100% humanity's fault.

Back to climate shift. What's that basic premise again?

"Human beings burn fossil fuels. Fossil fuels produce CO2 gas. The CO2 is making the planet hotter. So it's our fault the planet is warming, and we need to stop burning the fossil fuels that are heating the planet."

Wow, logic gaps. Okay, let's deal with the obvious first. This statement assumes that human beings are the ONLY SIGNIFICANT SOURCE of carbon dioxide gas. What the freaking hell, people??

First off, fossil fuels aren't the only source of CO2, anything that breathes or burns makes it. Breathing isn't so big a deal, but burning is, and things have been burning since long before we showed up.

Have a look here:


Click here for a huge satalite photo of fires in California




Which looks like it's putting more smoke in the air?

"But," I hear you cry, "those fires are big but occasional. The cars run all the time, so they have more effect."

Thanks for that hypothesis. That's how science starts. The next step is to look it up and see how much CO2 we're putting in the air as opposed to what nature is.

Moreover, the CO2/O2 balance in the air kind of tends to balance itself out in the long run... but that's sort of tangental and a long story. We're talking about drastic shift here, not long run.

My point is that when Mt. Pinatubo blew

it put more carbon and CFCs in the air than the automobile had in its entire history. That's just one eruption. There have been lots.

That climate is changing I have no doubt. That we're causing it, I find sort of a silly idea. The idea that we can stop it, I find offensively arrogant.

If you want to blame humanity for something, let's talk about Garbage Island and what we're going to do about it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Pacific_Garbage_Patch

Gomez, can you please stop saying things I agree with. You are threatening the whole basis of our friendship!

Um... well uh... Atheists are poo-poo heads?

Wait, that doesn't work, I don't agree with it either...

Hmm...